The Flaw with Higher Education: What I wish I knew going in to college...

It's my sophomore year of college and I find myself looking back and regretting everything I've done while in college. I regret the choice I made, the reasons why I made that choice, and the decisions I've made since I've been in college. I came to terms this year that I chose Baylor because it's a big name school-- and that's all that mattered to me in high school. I've already changed my major and I'm still not sure I'm in a major that I'm 100% interested in. The problem with society is that it paints this unrealistic picture that everyone should graduate high school and go straight into college to get a degree and potentially get a high-paying job. 

Yesterday, I read a post by my friend about why she wished she hadn't gone to college, and I wholeheartedly agreed with it. Life just seems like one big competition where people work their butts off and in 30 years look back and realize they didn't accomplish anything they had planned to. Remember in elementary school when teachers would ask us to draw or write down our goals and aspirations for the future, you write a letter to yourself or make a bucket list and when you look back at it you realize that you can't cross anything off of it. Why is money and wealth and success the main root of our happiness? Shouldn't we be finding happiness in exploring? Going out and traveling--maybe trying something new? 

Okay...so maybe some people have their lives figured out and medical school was always a part of their future, but I'm here in college, wasting time and money still fiddling around not knowing what I want to do with my life. There's still so many places I want to travel to, so many different things I want to experience and try, and I still have to figure out myself and my purpose. 

Personally, I think higher education shouldn't be rushed. My advisor was pressuring me to cram classes into my schedule for next year so that I could still "graduate on time." Why is there always a time limit? Can't I just sit back and enjoy the view? 

This post seems very bleak and down, but I assure you there are still many positives to higher education--just make sure that you're doing it for you and not because society pushes it on you. If I could go back, I would have made a different choice, I would have stayed in state, I would have chosen a less costly school, and I would have taken some more time figuring out what I wanted to pursue as potential majors. 

I have three younger sisters, one of them is a junior looking into colleges for herself. I wish I had an older sibling who could have given me advice about being grown up. It's not all it's cut out to be-- I should have enjoyed high school more, taken advantage of opportunities that were thrown my way and tried new things but instead I was too worried about my GPA and graduation cords. 

We're not defined by the grades we make or the amount of money we have, but we are defined by the kind of people we end up as based on the experiences and stories we created for ourselves. My story may have some bumps and dips, but everyone's does and those bumps and dips and detours lead us to where we are going and define the choices and lessons we learn in life. So honestly, I may regret a lot, but I wouldn't go back and erase any of it because it has given me the knowledge and value that I put on education and success in general.