I Refuse

Greetings from Texas!!! I've decided to take a break from my continual work in Colorado, continual studying and just relax for a few days in Texas. Today, I had the pleasure of visiting one of my prospective colleges, Baylor University. For those of you that don't know, Baylor is located in Waco, TX and is a Christian university. It was absolutely gorgeous and is in my top 3 choices--easy! One thing I noticed is that this campus and it's students and faculty were full of life! I could tell in the way they talked about their school that they were passionate about God and Baylor. I think it's really important to not just go to school because you want further education, but also to find your path in life. For some people, they find their purpose early in life. But many people, such as myself, have yet to find my true purpose. So, right now I'm just living life for my God.
I found the song "I Refuse" by John Wilson (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BbH0IWZL05s), the inspiration for today's experience. Baylor University really opened my eyes to how much God is truly capable of. Most of the students at Baylor are christian and share a strong relationship with Christ, which I find absolutely fantastic!! And I can't believe it took me this long to open my eyes and realize that there are many others ways to do what God has called us to do. The woman who led the admissions overview today, told us that she was led down the path of working within Baylor's admissions because of God. Originally, her path was a business major--but God called her to stay with what she loved and what she was passionate about. I find that amazing.
God isn't about going to church every week if it doesn't mean anything to you, or praying every day if you're just going to say empty words that don't me anything. "I don't want live like I don't care, I don't want to say another empty prayer...I could chose not to move, but I refuse." Life works out in crazy ways, and who knows...maybe Baylor isn't the right path for me.
Sorry that tonight's post is so short, but I'm extremely tired. I promise my next one will be longer. :) God Bless!

Getting Into You

Human nature always fascinates me. Isn't it odd how we as humans strive for perfection, even when we know that it is unattainable. But then at the same time, we all compete for the best (or I guess in this case most tragic) sob story. Two completely contradicting actions that surprisingly have one thing in common....the unconscious desire to be noticed by a greater being. 

See, perfection is just a cover up for insecurity of oneself and the need to feel appreciated. Trust me, this is not targeting people who strive to be perfect, I happen to be one of those people. Everyday I try my hardest to make something in my day go perfect, whether it's reorganizing something again and again until it looks just the way I picture it or whether its me crumpling up paper after paper and re-copying down my homework because the spacing was off... regardless, I try to be perfect in almost everything I do. Sometimes, we as human beings lose track of what is really important. It's not about the newest technology or passing every class with at least a B or making sure that you're up do date with the latest fashion trends. We've created this false sense of security that if we all dress and act alike that we will be accepted by everyone. We're forgetting that God is the only person in our lives that needs to accept us. 

On the other hand, we also all want to be noticed by having the worst story to tell. People will go on and on about sad and tragic things that have happened to them. It's because we want the sympathy and attis ention that it draws. We're like lost kittens, walking around, pathetic, waiting for some stranger to pluck us out of the gutters and give us all the love and attention we need. But we're looking for the wrong person. We feel like we NEED to be plucked up by one of our peers, but we've already been plucked up....before we were all born. God chose us, he saved us all of our sins when Jesus died on the cross. He is that stranger that loves us no matter how perfect or imperfect we are. This little thing called Grace is truly an amazing thing. Grace is this little promise that God sent everyone when Jesus died to save all our sins. It's almost a magical thing--he fact that HE can forgive us, no matter what we do. Ever heard of the 10 commandments? They are a list of "rules" that everyone must follow. Before Grace was given to us, God would punish anyone who broke those rules. Now, I know for a fact that I've broken probably half of the rules. Bot God forgives when we ask.

Quick example: yesterday I traded in my not-so-great phone for a new smart phone. Yes, I admit that it's gorgeous and much much better than the one I had before. I also in a way conformed to the life around me. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's when we begin to praise our material goods as though they will give us everlasting life and grace that it could be a problem....

The song I chose for this is Getting Into You by Relient K (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQ2NianVql8) Really great song! It pretty much talks about how we all sin and break the 10 commandments but our God is constant in his grace and always is merciful and compassionate. And really, when it all comes down to what is the MOST IMPORTANT thing in my life, God comes first.Always.Forever. The line from this song, "I've been a liar and I'll never amount to, the kind of person you deserve to worship you." It really does capture human nature and that our God is so merciful and amazing that he looks past our flaws and imperfections and still loves us with everlasting love. Now that's something none of my friends can give me. That kind of acceptance is known as spiritual acceptance. 

My challenge: go out, and strive to be the best steward of God you can be. Don't strive for perfection or in some cases, imperfection. But rather pass along God's great word. Share the good news to others, and create a chain reaction. Regret nothing. 

Who Am I

One of my most favorite songs of all time is Who Am I by Casting Crowns (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0woVlgkFIS8&feature=related). If you get the chance to listen to it (and watch the amazing black light magic), I encourage you to reflect on its true meaning. Even though we are one among billions of others, a single star in the sky, or a grain of sand on the beach, we are loved by God and given full attention by him when we call. It's truly amazing how strong his love is for us and the bond we share with him. The fact that he is always there for us, it's almost unbelievable that one God can be there for millions of people at a time. 
I feel like this song ties in well with any situation. Everyday, something happens that we as human beings can't face alone. Death, life, loss, love, so many other emotions and feelings that draw us nearer to one another and closer to God. Now, just think for a moment...how many people are there in our world? Everyday thousands, millions of people lose a loved one, meet someone new, and experience one another's company. How can God be there for all of us right when we need him?? As crazy as it is, he is there for all of us--every second of everyday, for any and every situation. I think God gives us relationships with others around us so that we can share our feelings with others in the flesh: those who can relate to us, can understand, and comfort us. My favorite lines are, "Not because of who I am, but because of what you've done; not because of what I've done, but because of who you are." God loves each and every one of us, no matter our talents, our faults, our lies, our good deeds, etc... 
I think we should all take this sort of approach, not to judge and give everyone a second chance, whether they deserve it or not. This whole Aurora shooting has made me really think about everything. This man, James Holmes, was probably judged by lots of people. Same as the two involved in the mass shooting at Columbine High School. They were all made fun of and judged. The first path towards making a friend, is being one. My challenge for you (as for myself) is to go out and meet someone new. Don't judge a book by it's cover, and live through Christ like he would want us to be good stewards of his creation. Easier said than done, I know. But just think what one friendly smile or one hello in the hall can achieve. Regret Nothing. Live for God. 

Ruin Me

Isn't it crazy how one thing can completely change your life. One day, one event, one moment in time can alter your view of the world and your purpose in life. I decided to start a blog for two reasons...1) I need something to journal on: to build up my repertoire and keep tabs on my senior year; and 2) to develop my skills as a writer and a follower of God. This blog is for anyone: people who have lost their way, those who seek understanding, and those who just need reassurance. Life happens and for many of us, the consequences are unbearable. 

I live in Littleton, CO. That's about half an hour away from the shooting on July 20th. This event was shocking to say the least, it was scary--it still is quite frightening, and it leaves me cherishing very moment and every person I meet in my lifetime. Because the truth is, you never know when it will be your last day. This was supposed to be a fun night--midnight premiere, everyone decked out in Batman attire. Now, I'm no Batman fan, but I do understand the thrill of going to my first midnight showing, of watching the long-anticipated movie for the first time ever, and the building climax in the room that builds. If I were sitting in that  theater, I'd be pretty psyched.  The lights dim, the movie starts, and the action begins. It's pretty easy to get caught up with all the action in a movie, but not enough for one to go out and plot a massacre. I will never understand the point--motive or not--it was wrong and unjust. Some say it was almost as bad as Columbine, I think in some ways it's worse. Because of one man's poor choice, 12 people lost their lives and many others suffered from serious injury, both physical and emotional. How is that fair at all? It's times like these when I question my merciful God. I've sat in my room now for a few hours reading verses and listening to music. 

What always helps me is looking at it in another perspective. This guy probably didn't grow up with God. He probably felt unappreciated and never had a hero to look up to. So he was taken by the devil and influenced by villains. Regardless, this is not an excuse, just a bit of understanding. But just think, if that guy had a hero, someone to lead him down the right path, maybe our present situation would be different. 

Tonight's theme is Ruin Me. A very popular song by Jeff Johnson (if you haven't already heard it I encourage you to check it out--> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFhMEcKkgQc). Anyway, this song is basically saying that God is our almighty savior and he always comes first, his love is constant and he will always be there for you, even if your door isn't open. I feel like this ties in nicely with the Century 16 shooting. God has plans for everyone, and even though we think we know what's best, God is the only judge of our life. Honestly, I think eternal life with God would be the best thing ever! Knowing that my God has saved me from Hell and that I can always live forever with him makes me feel better when a death occurs. 

Life has a crazy way of working out, but God is always constant. Nonetheless, these past couple days have really made me take a look at my life and the things that I've accomplished, and I've come to realize that I need to live among, for, and within my God. Regret nothing. 

I pray for the families that lost a loved one among the 12 who died, I pray for all those still in the hospital or recovering from gunshot wounds, and I pray that God is watching over each and everyone. So here's my challenge: Go out and do something for someone, be someone's hero, show someone the right path, and create your life plan, change your ways or alter them, create a chain reaction.